Falcon's Last Hurrah
by Storm O
Summary: Falcon's newest mission, if he chooses to accept it.


O's Disclaimers:  All general disclaimers apply.  I do not own the Joe characters nor do I claim any rights to the songs mentioned throughout this fic.  This is a follow-up to "My Last Name".

O's AN:  This fanfic is written in response to the June challenge for a wedding-related scene.  Please note that Scarlett Phoenix and I both combined our thinking caps and wrote our two fics in such a way that they easily tie together.  Therefore, you will notice subtle, and not so subtle, references to each of our fics, titled "Jinx's _Soirée" _and "Falcon's Last Hurrah".  Jinx's name, given by SP, is Keiko.  Hope you enjoy this.  Please read and review.

SP:  This was tons of fun.  Thanks for all the help and keeping me on track every once in awhile.  _Cheers_ 

**Falcon's Last Hurrah **

Conrad Hauser pulled his '69 Mustang into the parking lot of XTC, one of the local gentlemen clubs.  Vincent Falcone sat in the passenger seat, grinning like a little kid in a candy store. 

Revealing a broad smile, Conrad said, "Bro, two things you need to remember tonight.  Number one:  This is your last weekend as a free man."  He chuckled before continuing, "And number two:  Don't touch the ladies."  He rolled his eyes as he issued warning number two.  His brother was a lady's man and keeping the reigns on him was something that everyone who knew Vincent struggled with from time to time.

Vince laughed nervously before retorting, "I'm gonna tell Shana about rule number one."

Laughing, Conrad disagreed.  "I highly doubt you will remember either of the rules nor your name by the time we are done with you.  This is your bachelor's party remember."  Grinning from ear to ear, Conrad taunted, "If you don't remember, I'll have Shana remind you tomorrow with an early wake-up call."  Conrad knew that his wife would love to pay his brother back for the condition that Vince and his best friend returned him to base in the week before he was to wed his lovely wife.

Vince smirked at the memory.  _'Maybe it would be wise to not bring up telling Shana anything.  She had enough dirt on him and had saved his ass numerous times.  Bye-gones should be bye-gones_', he thought.

The two brothers exited the car and headed for the doors.  Inside, loud, sexy music played as several scantily clad women on stage danced, gyrating very erotic moves.  A large crowd of men whooped and hollered around the stage.  Unmistakably, this loud crowd consisted of a dozen or so comrades from their GI Joe days and a few Green Berets, who were members of Vince's current team.  Pointing Vince towards the stage, Conrad and his brother finally joined the others.

Initially, most of the group of guys around the stage had convened in the wine room at Marvin's diner, RB's Cuisine.  A lot of good food and good times were regaled as the guys devoured Marvin's specialty of the night, All-You-Can-Eat ribs. 

After spending several hours at Marvin's establishment, the group trickled out the doors and headed to their current entertainment venue.  Conrad had purposefully held back his brother so that Dash and Wayne could organize Vince's special entertainment, which gave him time to catch up on some of the gossip from his friends, who he had not seen since his wedding day, nearly two years ago.  Conrad had no doubt in his mind that if Keiko knew of the plans that he had for her soon-to-be-husband, she would literally tear him limb from limb.  Those that knew Shana and thought that her temper was somethingto reckon with didn't know Keiko very well.  She hadn't gotten her codename, Jinx, by accident.

The Navy boys were loving the girls' rendition of "Brandy You're a Fine Girl", making loud noises and catcalls while ogling the lovely dancers, dressed in sailor uniforms.  Dash and Wayne were both behaving themselves, almost expecting their significant others to show up and crash their "little" party.  Marvin was complaining to Ettienne about the service at this place while Blaine, using common sense, tried to explain to Marvin that food service was not the kind of "service" that this place specialized in.

Brad was the first of the guys to spot Conrad and Vincent.  "Alright, you guys finally made it," he exclaimed.  "Let the drinking begin!  Remember to place your bets, ladies."  A barrage of moans and groans echoed through the bar as the guys opened a small gap, placing the "man of the night" in front of the stage, the best place in the house.

The Green Beret boys clapped Vincent on the back and suspiciously eyed Brad's comment about them being "ladies".  Victor and Bill tried to explain to the Special Forces group that Brad loved to gamble, and subsequently, won a lot of his bets.  "Only bet against him if ya'll can stand to lose," Bill warned in his Texan drawl.  The bet entailed guessing the time that Vince would pass out from consuming too much alcohol.

Conrad came up behind Wayne and Dash and said, "Guys, relax.  The women are entertaining the bride-to-be.  So, drink up, have fun, tip the girls, and please don't start any fights with my brother, no matter how obnoxious he gets."  Conrad stood facing his two friends, arms folded across his chest.  The rift between Vince and Dash existed since the first day Vince stepped on base and pursued Allie.  It didn't take long for Dash to put the Green Beret in his place, rather forcefully; however, Conrad didn't see a need to step in and bail his brother out of trouble...until the whole Cobra-La fiasco.

Cobra-La also instigated a heated rivalry between Vince and Wayne.  Because of the size of Vince's ego and his inability to control his mouth, PT training became Wayne's personal torture chamber for the Green Beret.  No one really knew the real reason whyWayne had it in for Vince, but everyone on the team knew to stay clear of the two when the punches started to fly.

The group of friends and acquaintances assembled congratulated Vince, drank lots of alcohol, and watched the entertainment.  About an hour after Vince's arrival, a trio of women, dressed as brides, waltzed on stage.  They pulled the groom-to-be on stage and seated him ina chair.

Once Vince was situated, the loud speaker came to life.  "Patrons of XTC, your attention please.  It is my honor to congratulate Mr. Vincent Robert Falcone on his upcoming nuptials, also known as welcome to the 'ball and chain', my man," the announcer ragged on Vince.  "As part of the fulfillment of my commitment to some unnamed friends, I give you three of my most talented and beautiful ladies.  Bambi, Coco, and Ginger will be your entertainers for the next few songs.  Please be courteous to my girls, and if you like what you see, don't hesitate to show them your appreciation with a special gift of your gratitude.  If you get unruly, my boys will escort you out of here."  On each side of the stage, two big, burly guys stood, waiting for any troublemakers.  Ettienne and Marvin paled in comparison to the size of these bouncers.

The trio of girls danced seductively for Vince as "I Can't Get Next to You" played in the background.  One lovely lady after the other ripped her wedding train from her outfit, revealing a tight fitting, leave nothing-to-your-imagination teddy.

At the conclusion of the first song, the second song, "Legs", got the crowd into the act.  Each separate stanza allowed a different girl to dance solo for Vince, with one of them giving Vince his much desired lap dance.  The other two girls gave their attention to the crowd surrounding the stage.  _After all, this crowd of military guys was paying for their special dance.  They might as well tantalize them as well._

The third song dedicated to Vince was "Girls, Girls, Girls", in which several ladies, dressed in similar white teddies, came onto the stage and entertained the crowd.  It was an endless parade of beautiful girls, fitting the song's title perfectly. 

As the hours ticked off, the men all enjoyed the ladies' "dance" routines and the bar's drinks.  The Zoomies and the Squids were both trying to see which group could out drink each other, while the Green Berets had fallen into the dangerous game of challenging the Marines to a drinking contest as well.  The Army boys continued to drink and ogle the women, tipping them graciously.

At about 0130 hours, Vince staggered towards his brother.  Vince's face had a puzzled look on it, and Dash couldn't help but rib him.  "What?  Did those girls do something you didn't understand?" 

Conrad shot Dash a warning look, and Wayne smirked.  The Ranger's muscles tensed, waiting for the groom-to-be to make the first move.  Although in Vince's condition, there would not be much of a fight.

Vince glared at the Warrant Officer, but also caught Wayne's look.  For the first time, Vince used common sense and ignored the comment.  "Con, could I see you a moment?"  Vince asked, shifting his head slightly to the left, indicating that this question was to be asked out of earshot.

"I'll be right back," Conrad told the guys at the table as he left his seat, reaching for but then rejecting his beer bottle.  Conrad had reached his safe limit and was driving tonight.  _'Damn.  I should have rented a limousine like the girls did_', he thought. 

While Conrad had promised his wife that he would stay sober, Wayne had originally also volunteered to make sure everyone got home safe.  But after watching the multitude of girls strutting around, Wayne had promptly reneged his offer.  He figured that if he kept a beer bottle in his hand, then he would be less tempted to touch.  While the other guys worried about the tempers that their wives had, they had never been on the receiving end of Courtney's anger.

Conrad practiced walking a straight line as he led Vince outside, who was not even attempting to follow his brother's footsteps.  Once outside, Vince leaned against the brick exterior before he lamented, "Keiko is going to kill me if she ever finds out about this.  I'm a dead man."

Chortling, Conrad countered, "How is she gonna find out?  I certainly am not going to tell her.  I not only would have to answer to the wraith of the petite ninja, I would have some heavy explaining to do to my own wife.  And I _don't_ mean about telling Keiko about what you did!"  From what Conrad could remember, one of the girls from inside had this head full of long, lush red hair.  Everyone knew his weakness for redheads, who just conveniently appeared before him dance after dance until he moved away from the stage.  _If he ever found out who pointed that crimson delight his way, he'd make them pay._

Vince snickered, knowing that Shana's temper matched his fiancée's temper, word for action.  "No, I'm serious, bro.  That black-haired chick, Coco, she was..."

"Stop!"  Conrad interrupted, "Don't _even_ go there!  I don't want to hear about it.  I have enough guilt of my own."  He paused then said, "If you feel so guilty then make it up to her."  He wanted to smack his head for that comment.  He had a bet on his brother's alcohol consummation limit as well as everyone else, but his older brother conscience kicked in, not to mention his mother's request to look out for his brother all those years ago.

Rolling his eyes, Vince shook his head and almost lost his balance.  "It's getting late..." Vince's voice trailed off.

Glancing at his watch, Conrad stated, "It's not that late."  Watching his brother's face, he asked, "Did you have anything in mind?"

"I don't know.  Keik will probably be sleeping by now, anyway."  Vince tried to squash the remorse he was feeling by making up excuses, sorry to have revealed his guilt to his brother.

Unable to hold back his laughter, Conrad said, "I wouldn't bet the farm on that," referring to Keiko sleeping.  "She is with my wife, Alison, and Courtney."  Feeling bad about laughing, Conrad offered some suggestions.  "You could open a bottle of champagne and have some strawberries with a little chocolate sauceready for when she gets home.  Maybe add some candlelight and soft romantic music playing in the background."

Vince made a gagging sound at the mention of candlelight and romantic music, but Conrad defended himself, saying, "It's what they want.  Trust me.  I've been privy to the doghouse on a few occasions, before and after marriage.  The right mood can change everything."

"Speaking from experience, I see," Vince gloated.  "Okay, okay, but I have to buy the champagne and strawberries.  We don't have any of that type of stuff in the place."  As an afterthought, Vince added, "And, can you find out from Shana whether Keiko is still out having a good time or at home asleep?"

This time Conrad rolled his eyes and nodded.  _The things he did for his brother_.  He reached into his pocket, fished out his cell phone, and dialed his wife's cell number, walking away from the building for some privacy.  After three rings, a beautiful southern voice answered the phone, "Hello, handsome."

"Now, how can you be so sure that it was me calling you?"  Conrad replied, suppressing a chuckle.

"Well, who else would be calling me at this hour of the night...or morning?"  She asked, teasingly.

Picturing her grinning evilly, Conrad retorted playfully, "No one else, I hope."

With a laugh, she asked, "How's your big shindig going?"

"It's going, but I thought we were not going to ask any questions, tell no lies, tonight," Conrad whined into the phone.

"Party pooper, but that is what we said."

"Good, Vince needs your, well _our_, help.  Are you game?"  Conrad asked.  Hearing the noise in the background, Conrad knew that Keiko would not be home sleeping yet.

"Sure.  What's up?"

Conrad quickly described the plan that he and Vince had thought up earlier.  After confirming that Keiko was still having a good time, he hung up and returned to the club, catching up with his kid brother.  Giving Vince the thumbs up, Conrad returned to his table and told the guys, "Gotta go.  Damage control time."  The guys at the table groaned, knowing that no one would win the bet.  Conrad threw down a wad of cash.  "This should cover quite a bit of the bill.  Let me know if more is needed."

"Don't worry, buddy.  Unless the drinking contest gets out of hand, we are in the clear," Dash said, referring to the potential of being thrown out of the club, with a damage bill, if the Berets and the Marines got any more physical.  The Squids had already drunk the Zoomies under the table, and most of the flyboys had already been hauled into a cab.

Conrad grimaced slightly, remembering the times that he had to go with Hawk down to the jail to bail out multiple Joes who had gotten a little disorderly.  Ninety percent of the time, one of the Jarheads or Squids were part of the jailbirds.

The two brothers met up at the front door and headed for the car.  Conrad made a stop at the store to gather the "make up" supplies, leaving Vince in the car to sober up.  Fifteen minutes later, Conrad pulled the Mustang into a parking spot at the apartment complex that Vince and Keiko called home. 

As Vince slowly got out of the car, he said, "Thanks, Conrad.  I owe ya one," and slammed the car door shut, wincing at the sound of the metal meeting metal.  He swayed a little, contemplating the number of stairs he would have to climb to reach the second story apartment.

Conrad watched Vince stumble up the sidewalk and half fall up the stairs, dragging his bag of goodies, before pulling out of the parking lot and heading home.  Since Alexis was staying the night at the babysitter's, he thought maybe he should take care of the guilty conscience he was feeling too.  He glanced over at the extra champagne bottle that Vince's credit card had unknowingly purchased.  _'Yes, the conscience was a very unforgiving animal_', Conrad thought as he drove home to prepare for his wife's arrival. 

Headlights from the limousine turned into the apartment complex and squealed to a stop in front of the apartment that Vince had just entered ten minutes ago.  Keiko got out of the limousine and waved goodnight to the girls.  With considerable effort, the petite ninja walked steadily up the stairs to the front door.  Before she could slip her key in the lock, the door opened and Vince swooped her up into a passionate kiss.

Startled and breathless, Keiko said, "What's this all about?"

"Nothing, my love.  Just a little surprise," Vince said in a hurried voice as he ushered the woman, who in one week would become his wife, into the apartment.

Barry White music played in the background, while several candles glowed in the small living room.  The coffee table had been cleared and two champagne glasses and a bottle of the sparkling alcohol were centered on the table, flanked by a bowl of strawberries and a smaller bowl of chocolate sauce. 

Keiko's eyes widened as a smile crossed her face.  She wondered what Vince had done that warranted this special surprise, but her questions were quickly squelched when Vince pulled her into another passionate kiss.


End file.
